Goodnight sweetheart, well, it’s time to go
Goodnight sweetheart, well, it’s time to go
I hate to leave you but I really must say
Goodnight sweetheart, goodnight

Yesterday was a fun but busy day for us.  Van flew a T-6 Texan World War II fighter plane out at the Franklin County Airport that morning.  It was a Christmas present from his parents.  So very cool!  Van absolutely loved it!!

Things were rushed from the moment we got up.  Ashley didn’t want to eat her breakfast and we were late leaving the house.   She also didn’t get a nap because her regularly scheduled nap time was while we were at the airport.  So I knew there was a chance that the day would be a little iffy with her.  Ashley did GREAT though!  Despite our adventure that morning and then running errands that afternoon, she did very well.  Her eating schedule and nap schedule were off all day.  But she hung right in there without a peep!  Last night though, it was obvious how tired she was.  Van gave her a bath and got her ready for bed early.  But I had trouble getting her to sleep.  We’ve had this problem before when she is just overly tired and she fights sleep.

So I went in several times to pick her up, give her a paci, pace the hallway, and sing our song (I sing “Goodnight Sweetheart” to her when she has trouble going to sleep).  Anyways, those things were working just fine and she would fall asleep while I was holding her.  But as soon as I laid her down in her crib, she would wake up and throw a fit.  So the third time I went in there I figured I would just nurse her again and see if that would soothe her to sleep.  I picked her up, got the Boppy pillow ready, and sat down in the chair.  As soon as I sat down, Ashley laid her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my neck.  I started singing to her and rubbing her back and the next thing I knew her little hand was rubbing the back of my neck.  So as I rubbing her, trying to comfort her to go to sleep, she was rubbing me!  Oh my gosh!  The tears just welt up in my eyes and I began to cry.  I cannot explain the immense feeling I had for her at that very moment.  How blessed am I to be the mother of this precious child?  What did I do to deserve such an angel?  Here I am trying to comfort her, and then it was like she was comforting me.  She just turned 8 months old on Saturday, but it was as if she was all grown up.  It was just the sweetest thing!  I wish I knew of a word to describe the love I have for her.  Love is an understatement.

And then I thought to myself, I will gladly sit here with her as long as she needs me to.  All she wanted was me, her Mom.  She just wanted to be comforted by me.  And rubbing my neck was a comfort to her.  Those tiny, little fingers rubbing my neck and twirling my hair was the greatest feeling in the world.  And then I realized it would not last forever.  There will come a day when she won’t want to be held, and it won’t be me that comforts her.  As a teenager, she may even be repulsed by me, her ole’ Mom.  But last night, June 13, 2010 at 9:15 p.m., all she wanted was me.  So I sat there for 30 minutes, holding her, embracing those tiny fingers on my neck, and cried like a baby.  After she had drifted to sleep I quietly laid her down in her crib.  Goodnight sweetheart…